My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge