How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.