What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
