I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”