I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over