What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
