I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.