What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.