TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”