What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.