What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?
Burpees.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.