How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
What are police cars made of?
Copper
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
My wife said she saved $5 by not taking a bus and walking home
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
When I asked the bus driver for directions, it was a 'bus stop' service!
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Where do bus drivers eat their lunches? In a traffic jam.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.