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Yes Jokes

Ancient Greek Monster Puns
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
Zombie Puns
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Let's 'bag' this place and go get a coffee. And yes, I am proud of that pun.
Funny Parenting Quotes
โ€œWhen your mother asks, โ€˜Do you want a piece of advice?โ€™ it is a mere formality. It doesnโ€™t matter if you answer yes or no. Youโ€™re going to get it anyway.โ€โ€”Erma Bombeck
Language Pick Up Lines
Do you like interjections? YES? NO! GOOD!
Cherry Puns
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Mother Puns
I got down on one knee and asked her if she'd be the mother to my kids, she said yes...
Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.
Food Quotes
โ€œUnless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.โ€
โ€• Bill Murray
Funny Poems
My turn signal wasnโ€™t working,
So I asked for help from a friend.
โ€œStand behind the car,โ€ I said.
โ€œLetโ€™s get this problem to end.โ€
โ€œWhen I turn the signal on,
If itโ€™s working, let me know.โ€
I hit the blinker and then I heard:
โ€œYes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No!โ€
(Joanna Fuchs)
Food Poems
My Little Chocolate Mess

Bathwater and bubbles are waiting,
but my child is nowhere near.
Yet, I can see from cookie crumbs,
he's crawled from here to there.

Oh, yes! he's been in the kitchen.
I see his crooked crumb trail,
which leads to our white kitten,
with a chocolate, sticky tail!

In every room I search
for my little chocolate mess.
Then, I find him in the my bedroom,
with his hands on my new dress!

(Darlene Gifford)
Beaver Puns
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
Funny Money Quotes
"Ah, yes, divorceโ€ฆ A Latin word meaning to rip out a manโ€™s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
Ancient Rome Puns
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
Gnome Puns
Gnomes can be quite annoying when theyโ€™re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Wifi Puns
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
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