Rough Jokes

I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers.
The Times are rough.
I just saw a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out.
he's just going through a rough patch.
She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
I grew up in a really rough area. I would walk out of the house and other kids would leap out and sprinkle me with cream, cherries and shaved chocolate. Life was tough, growing up in the gateau.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
A Bear Walks Into a Bar... A bear walks into a bar. The bartender is extremely busy and looks tired. He eventually makes his way over to the bear. The bear immediately tells him, "You look exhausted." "Yeah, it's been a rough day," says the bartender, "What are you drinking?" "I'll have a glass of..." says the bear. He waits a painfully long moment before adding "... scotch." "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "Don't you mean "big pause"?" asks the bear. "Yeah, sorry." Sighs the Bartender. "Like I said, it's been a rough day."
A Tale of Tortoise and Snail A tortoise went out for a few beers and, despite being severely worse for wear, decided to walk home through the rough part of town. Half way home he was set upon by four snails who beat him senseless, stole what little money he still had and, as a final insult, they sprayed obscenities on his shell. Utterly distraught, he was taken to the local police station where the fox inspector asked if he could remember anything about the assailants . "I don't know!" He cried, "It all happened so fast!"
We like rough sets. As long as you practice safe sets, there isn’t a problem.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
Why do you use an old towel to dry your dog?
Because it's a little rough.
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