Painted Jokes

The artist painted himself into a corner, leading to his death.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
A painter who lived in Great Britain,
Interrupted two girls with their knitting,
He said, with a sigh,
That park bench--well I,
Just painted it, right where you're sitting.
There was an Old Man with a poker,
Who painted his face with red oker
When they said, 'You're a Guy!'
He made no reply,
But knocked them all down with his poker.
My son painted six Easter eggs the colors of the infinity gems.
I told him he made an Egg-finity omelette.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
The George and Dragon A tourist driving across rural England decided to stay the night in a small town. The only place with rooms available was a quaint English pub, The George and Dragon, which had a lovingly painted sign with a Knight beside a defeated dragon blowing in the evening breeze. Entering the bar room, which while empty had a roaring fire against the back wall, leather padded booths, and a mahogany bar with brass rails, polished to a shine, they went up to the bar and asked for a room. "Rooms cost £20 per night, we don't accept euros, and you must be out by 7am tomorrow, or else you pay for both days." "Alright then, could I get something to eat ma-" "Kitchen closed at 6, and I am not going back there until 11am tomorrow, no matter what you say. Anything else?" "Yes, could I please talk to George?"
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
My Wife is leaving me because of my obsession with cowboys
But that's ok this town ain't big enough for the both of us.
---
Acowboy enters the saloon
"Who painted my horse blue??"

A huge guy stands up, and walks right into the cowboy's face.

"It was me, you have a problem with that?"

"No...I just wanted to let you know that it's dry and ready for the second coating."
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
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