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Ordered Jokes

Theater Puns
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?

Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...

Brutus: I ate 2 slices.

Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
The Irish Father and His Son
The Irish Father and His Son An Irishman took his son to the bar on his birthday to buy him his first drink. The father bought his son a stout, but he didn't like it and didn't want to drink it. The father decided to drink it for him and ordered an ale instead. He didn't like it either. So, the father drank it and ordered him a cider. Lager, cider, cream ale... he didn't like any of them, so the father drank them and ordered whisky instead. He didn't like any of the Irish whiskeys the father ordered, so the old man drank them and decided to give up. By the time they left the bar. The father was so drunk he could barely push his son's stroller home.
Food Poems
Roses are red, pizza sauce is too,
I ordered a large one, I’m not sharing with you.
Ghost Puns
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Taco Puns
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
Puns
I recently quit my job as a butler at a stately home.
I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.
Buffalo Puns
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
Jim ordered a racehorse online
A thoroughbred sold in it's prime.
Now just for a laugh
They sent a giraffe
But it wins by a neck every time.

(Ray Gridley)
Family Puns
I ordered won ton for my large family today.
2000 lbs of soup goes a long way.
Wifi Puns
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Monster Puns
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
Bed Puns
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
Hey, was your daddy a barista because you are ALMOST what I ordered.
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