Illegal Jokes

What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
What is the difference between a man and a tree? One is illegal to hit with an ax.
If a tree falls in the forest and no-one is around to hear it..
then my illegal logging business is a success.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,

Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.

Sincerely, your service provider.
Did you know it's illegal to water your plants in China ?
It causes the microphones to rust.
Were you arrested today? It must be illegal to look so beautiful.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
The Priest, the Rabbi and the Monk A priest, a rabbi and a Buddhist monk get arrested for illegal gambling. They get in front of the judge. He starts questioning the priest first, "Did you play poker yesterday?" The priest mumbles a quick 'Lord forgive me' and answered "No." The judge turns to the rabbi and asks him, "Did you play poker yesterday?" The rabbi crosses his fingers behind his back and answers a clear "No." Finally the judge turns to the Buddhist monk and tells him, "So you are a Buddhist monk, I know for a fact that you are absolutely forbidden to lie to me! Did YOU play poker yesterday?" The monk looks at the priest, then at the rabbi. He smiles at the judge and asks "How could I possibly play poker all by myself?"
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
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