If life is like a box of chocolates,
is it rude to ask for candy?
Can you really say with certainty
that you even understand me?
When life hands you lemons
I think you'd better run.
Cause life can throw a curve ball
and hit you just for fun.
I can do without the chocolates
You can keep your lemons too.
Life is what you make of it
not what it makes of you.
(Sarina McConnell)
She had so many chances
Yet she kept muffin it up
Butter intentions were good
Just not much coffee in her cup
Couldnโt make a good decision
Too much waffling back and forth
Always peppered with doubt
Should she head south, no maybe north
Still, she was fun at a party
I would say, hummus a tune
Sheโd say, Icing because Iโm happy
As the words began to croon
Maybe thatโs whatโs most important
Omelet let her off the hook
So sheโs always in a pickle
Doesnโt do things by the book
Once again, Iโm gonna help her
Since she is such a good egg
I said, girl, youโd go much farther
If you werenโt such a nut Meg
(Mike Gentile)
Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make
Chollah, chapatti,
Cinnamon bun.
These global delights,
make eating such fun.
Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon;
Or Danish roast ham.
Add a fresh fruit salad,
Some sparkling wine,
A candle, red roses and
youโre ready to dine.
(Joanna Davis)
A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw a 70+ year old man walking past. She hasn't had a customer for a while so she whistles at him and says, "Hey, would you like to have some fun time with me?"
The old man said, "But I won't be able to..."
"C'mon man.... give it a try... " She says.
Old man says okay. They go in. The moment they get to the bed, the old timer becomes a machine and makes passionate love to her an hour straight.
When he's done, the prostitute catches her breath. Exhausted and tired she says, "But you said you won't be able to...."
"...pay you." completed the old man.
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