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Fear Jokes

Anti Jokes
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Viking Puns
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
A Case of Defamation
A Case of Defamation A woman was sued by a man for defamation of character. He charged that she had called him a pig. She was found guilty and fined. After the trial, she asked the judge: "Does this mean I cannot call Mr. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mr. Johnson?" asked the woman. The judge replied that she could indeed call a pig Mr. Johnson with no fear of being charged with a crime. The woman turned, looked directly at Mr. Johnson, and said, "Good afternoon, Mr. Johnson."
Rock Puns
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Giant Puns
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
Heart Puns
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
Nature Puns
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
Meat Puns
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Funny Headlines
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Mosquito Puns
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
Ancient Greek Monster Puns
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

(Laura E. Richards)
Quotes
“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld
Corona Virus Jokes
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
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