Dressing Jokes

Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
A Hard Tea to Swallow A man was out to lunch with his friend one day. The man was explaining to his friend how he had been exploring and studying different methods of healthy eating and its effects on your body. "After all," he said, "you are what you eat." The man sat down at a table with a salad, a lite vinaigrette dressing, and a small unsweetened green tea, while his friend had a fried chicken sandwich, a large Coke, and fries with some extra salt on the side. As they were about to dig in to their meal, the man realized he didn't grab a fork for his salad. As he was off getting his fork, his friend, playing a prank, dumped some of his extra salt into the man's tea. The man returned, sat, and took a sip of his tea and gagged instantly, spitting the tea all over the table. Immediately furious, the man snapped "what the hell did you do to my tea?" The friend answered the question with a question: "Didn't you say that you are what you eat?" The man's expression shifted from anger to disappointment. "If so, then this prank must've made you a little salt-tea."
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
Why was the salad late to the dinner party?
He was waiting for his wife to get dressing.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Grandmother is making the dressing, and is adding several cans of Chicken Broth.

Dad: "You know where you can get that broth in bulk?"

Grandmother: "Where?"

Dad: "The stock market."

He was promptly kicked out of the kitchen.
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