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Decided Jokes

Yard Puns
I decided to add a water fixture to my backyard...
... it's going well
Ghost Puns
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Utensils Puns
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Divorce Puns
“Mr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband.
“I’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”
Pot Puns
I decided to try growing pot...
So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all.
Monster Puns
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
Orange Puns
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Garden Puns
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
Family Puns
I’ve decided to name my son Mark.
That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.
Nuts Puns
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
Strawberry Puns
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
Crow Puns
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
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