Actress Jokes

ā€œI thought Iā€™d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.ā€
ā€• Chelsea Handler
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.

Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.

"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Did you hear that famous blonde haired actress has been stabbed? She's called Reese, Erm...
Witherspoon?

No, with a knife.
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress? You sure look the art.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Researching the Fiancé An important politician was seen moving around with a film actress for a couple of months, with whom he finally decided to plunge into matrimony. But, being cautious, he hired a private detective for the job of looking into her past and finding out if she had any previous affairs with any men. After a few days, the politician at last received his detective's report, which went like this: "Sir, this lady has a spotless reputation. Her past is clear, her family and friends all come from a very respectable background. No one has anything against her character. But yes, according to my sources, for the last couple of months she's been frequently seen flirting with a politician with a dubious reputation."
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
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