Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.