Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.