Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.