Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.