Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
