Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.