Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.