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Worst Jokes

Nuts Puns
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Friendship Quotes
"This is by far your worst idea ever…I’ll be there in 15 minutes."
— Unknown
Beaver Puns
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
Medieval Puns
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Grass Puns
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Toilet Puns
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
Food Poems
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.

(Kim Merryman)
Cherry Puns
Cherries are the worst soft fruits to watch scary movies with. They spend the whole time hiding behind a cushion as they are cherrified.
Funny Work Quotes
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
History Puns
History teachers are the worst gifters
They always think about the past, not the present.
Knight Puns
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Keyboard Puns
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Phone Puns
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Monster Puns
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.