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True Jokes

Friendship Quotes
“A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.”
– Len Wein
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”
– Bernard Meltzer
“Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.”
— Unknown
"Whoever says friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!"
— Bronwyn Polson
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows you are slightly cracked.”
— Bernard Meltzer
“A messy house is a must—it separates your true friends from other friends. Real friends are there to visit you not your house!”
— Jennifer Wilson
Movie Pick Up Lines
Why don't we head to my bedroom, peel back my Star War sheets, and discover what a true Jedi can do with his lightsaber?
Monster Puns
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Funny Money Quotes
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
Elvis Pick Up Lines
Pretty lady, I guess wishes do come true, seeing as a boy like me met a a girl like you.
Funny Aging Quotes
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
A Case of Defamation
A woman was sued by a man for defamation of character. He charged that she had called him a pig. She was found guilty and fined. After the trial, she asked the judge: "Does this mean I cannot call Mr. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mr. Johnson?" asked the woman. The judge replied that she could indeed call a pig Mr. Johnson with no fear of being charged with a crime. The woman turned, looked directly at Mr. Johnson, and said, "Good afternoon, Mr. Johnson."
Ghoul Puns
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Mall Pick Up Lines
I just tossed a penny into the fountain, want to make my wish come true?
Corona Virus Jokes
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?