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Theft Jokes

Guitar Puns
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
Clever Jokes
Why do Communists drink herbal tea?
Because proper tea is theft.
History Puns
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
Family Puns
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
Blonde Jokes
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Mother Puns
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
Art Puns
What is a definition of art theft? The haul of frames.
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
Blond Jokes
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Tea Puns
Why do Communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
The Old Lady Shoplifter
An old lady gets caught shoplifting. On court day the lady and her husband who goes stand before the judge and she says to her, "Why did you shoplift?" And she says "I was hungry." The judge says "What did you take?" She replies, "A can of peaches." The judge thinks on this and comes to a decision. "How many peaches where in the can?" "Six." says the old lady. "Then you shall serve six days in jail." Decrees the judge. "Do you have anything to add?" "Ah, your honor?" Her husband suddenly raises his hand. "She stole a can of peas too."