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Surprise Jokes

Birthday Jokes
I thought I’d surprise my girlfriend for her birthday.
Her: “What are you doing? And why are you shirtless?”
Me: *smiles and nods*
Her: “And you’re covered in… baby oil?”

Me: “Well, you know how you always said I never glisten?”
Her: “Listen. You never listen.”
Me: “Ohhhhhh..”
When I was ten my Mom told me to take my brother to a movie so she could set up for his surprise birthday party.
That's when I realized that he was her favorite twin.
A twin complains to his mother, “ You said you didn’t have a favourite between me and Brian.”

We don’t darling,” replies his mother. “What would make you say such a thing?”

“Then why am I blowing up balloons for his surprise birthday party.”
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

“Look!” she said. “I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.”

So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Chemistry Puns
Ah! The element of surprise.
Shower Puns
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
Plant Puns
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Egg Puns
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
The Startle
A man and a woman were fast asleep in bed. Suddenly, at 4 o'clock in the morning, a resounding noise came from outside. The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man: "Oh No! That must be my husband!" The man quickly got out of bed, panicked and naked. He jumped out the window like a crazy man, smashed on the ground, picked himself up and went straight through a thorn bush, then he stood up and started to run as fast as he could to his car... A few minutes later the door opened and the man was standing at it, panting hard, with dirt and scratches all over him. He yelled: "I'm your husband, you mad cow!" "Oh, yeah?" the woman answered: "And why were you running, you bastard?!?"
Baseball Puns
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Funny Limericks
There was a Young Lady whose eyes,
Were unique as to colour and size;
When she opened them wide,
People all turned aside,
And started away in surprise.
There was a Young Lady whose eyes,
Were unique as to colour and size;
When she opened them wide,
People all turned aside,
And started away in surprise.
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Pea Puns
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Puns
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
Now I'm homeless.