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Starts Jokes

Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
Starts off in the morning, wakes up at six,
Grooms itself using its tongue and licks.
I give it breakfast with a friendly pat.
That's the daily morning of my cat.

Returns for lunch at one o' clock.
Eats milk rice and then goes for a walk.
Sometimes even hunts and catches a rat.
That's the daily afternoon of my cat.

Naps after lunch outside my door.
Sleeps so deeply, perhaps even snores.
Doesn't like the ground; it prefers a mat.
That's the daily evening of my cat.

Wakes up refreshed and comes for dinner.
Does it eat too much? Shouldn't it be thinner?
Eats and sleeps - hope it doesn't get fat.
That's the daily night of my cat.

(M. Tarun Prasad)
Computer Puns
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Funny Aging Quotes
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
Pea Puns
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Funny Work Quotes
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
Theater Puns
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Fairy Puns
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
Gorilla Puns
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Poop Puns
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Lettuce Puns
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
Chuck Norris Jokes
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Ketchup Puns
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something."
Gnome Puns
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."