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Sat Jokes

Medieval Puns
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Werewolf Puns
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
Monster Puns
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Pea Puns
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Bacon Puns
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
Couch Puns
My husband hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then he sat on it.
Eventually he came around.
Utensils Puns
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
Zebra Puns
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
Funny Work Quotes
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
Mother Puns
I had a real problem when your mom got rid of that crooked chair my dad made.
I don't know why, it just never sat right with me.
Old McDonald's Farm
Two Army football players were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy. Soon after the test began the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, “Old MacDonald had a what?” The other replies, “He had a farm.” The first asks, “How do you spell it?” To which the second replied, “E-I-E-I-O.”
Laundry Puns
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
One Liners and Short Jokes
A blonde walked into the dentist office and sat down in a chair.
The dentist said "Open Wide" "I can't" The blonde said. "This chair has arms"
Italy Puns
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
Witch Puns
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
Train Puns
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.