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Red Jokes

Pea Puns
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Little Johnny is Asked About Jesus
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Susie said, "He was born in a manger." Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple." Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it." Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?" "From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"
The Beatles Pick Up Lines
Roses are red, Violet are blue. What would you do. If I fell in love with you?
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow?
4th of July Pick Up Lines
I don't normally like girls who wear red coats. But, for you I'll make an exception.
The Tiny Firefighter
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," he said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer and discovered to his horror that the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." "You're probably right," The girl replied thoughtfully, "but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Drugstore Pick Up Lines
Propranolol is red, digoxin is blue. My heart skips a beat when I see you.
Orange Puns
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Peach Puns
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
Christian Pick Up Lines
Are you Rudolph’s red nose? Because baby, I would say you glow.
Elf Puns
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Gnome Puns
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Cherry Puns
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.