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Prefer Jokes

The Best Bar in the World
Three guys are drinking at a bar and talking about their favorite bars. The first guy says, 'As good as this bar is, I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink.' 'Well,' said the second man, "At my local in London , the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.' "Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the third guy, 'Back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you gets laid, all on the house!' The first two guys lift their eyebrows in suspicion. 'Yea right,' says the first guy, 'there is no bar that good.' The man swore every word was true. Then the second man asked, 'Come ON, be real. Did this actually happen to you?' 'Well. Not to me, personally, no.' admitted the man, "But it did happen to my sister quite a few times."
Flower Pick Up Lines
I hope you prefer men who take grooming seriously.
Deer Puns
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
Medieval Puns
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Crow Puns
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
Water Sports Pick Up Lines
Do you prefer stiff or limp fishing rods?
Garden Puns
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
Toilet Puns
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
Elf Puns
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
I actually prefer that life give me lemons so that I can make a pretty lady like you some lemonade on a hot Summer's day.
Do you prefer organic or local? Because I’m both.
Funny Money Quotes
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
Nuts Puns
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
Computer Puns
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.