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Pick Jokes

Yard Puns
The neighbor's dog pooped in our yard, so my wife told me to get the shovel and toss it over their fence.
But that didn't solve anything.
Now the neighbors have my shovel and someone still has to pick up the poop in our yard.
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
I hope I'm on your list of things to pick up today.
Utensils Puns
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
Pot Puns
I was watching a new cooking show where you only get to pick one pan to use the whole time…
It's called, "Do You Have The Skillet Takes?!"
Two Blondes and a Car
Two blondes were exiting a restaurant when they discovered, to their horror, that they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
Meat Puns
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Funny Animal Quotes
“Animals may be our friends, but they won’t pick you up at the airport."
- Bobcat Goldthwait
Funny Money Quotes
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
Funny Work Quotes
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
Cherry Puns
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
Werewolf Puns
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Friendship Quotes
“We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I finish laughing.”
— Unknown
Space Pick Up Lines
Are you an exoplanet? Because I’m bad at astronomy and pick up lines.