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Key Jokes

Funny Marriage Quotes
“A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I’m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.”
— LeAnn Rimes
Soap Puns
My friend claims he works in a soap factory, adding a key ingredient to the process...
He's a lye-er.
Funny Work Quotes
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
Ghost Puns
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
Monster Puns
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Two Blondes and a Car
Two blondes were exiting a restaurant when they discovered, to their horror, that they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
Beaver Puns
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
Funny Money Quotes
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
Food Quotes
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
Keyboard Puns
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.