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Hate Jokes

Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
I hate oranges. Will you be my main squeeze?
Monster Puns
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
Werewolf Puns
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
Utensils Puns
I really hate straws.
They suck.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
Let Him Without Sin...
Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let him who has no sin cast the first stone." The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman. Jesus sighs and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."
Fairy Puns
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
Zombie Puns
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining."
Peach Puns
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
Funny Work Quotes
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
Pea Puns
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Ancient Greek Monster Puns
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!