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Cream Jokes

Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
Are you a Frappuccino? Because I want to be that whipped cream on the top.
Funny Aging Quotes
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
Yard Puns
I woke up this morning and saw two birds sitting in the sun in my backyard, eating ice cream.
They were Basking Robins.
Food Quotes
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
Onion Puns
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
Strawberry Puns
My local ice cream man was found dead in his garage covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.
Police believe he topped himself.
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
Ghoul Puns
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Nuts Puns
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
Cherry Puns
I grew up in a really rough area. I would walk out of the house and other kids would leap out and sprinkle me with cream, cherries and shaved chocolate. Life was tough, growing up in the gateau.
Stinging an Idiot
A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain. "Please doctor you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee." "Don't worry;" says the doctor, "I'll put some cream on it." "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now." "No, you don't understand!" answers the doctor, "I'll put some cream on the place you were stung." "Oh! It happened in the garden in back of my house." "No, no, no!" says the doctor getting frustrated, "I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting you." "On my finger!" screamed the man in pain. "The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts." "Which one?" the doctor. "How am I supposed to know? All the bees look the same to me!"
Kitchen Puns
Cooking always puts my wife in a bad mood...
She beats the eggs and whips the cream.