Jokes > Tags > Busy Jokes

Busy Jokes

Blonde Jokes
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
Zebra Puns
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
One Liners and Short Jokes
A duck is standing next to a busy road, cars zooming past while he waits for a break in traffic.
A chicken walks up to him and says, "Don't do it, man. You'll never hear the end of it."
Monster Puns
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
A Bear Walks Into a Bar...
A bear walks into a bar. The bartender is extremely busy and looks tired. He eventually makes his way over to the bear. The bear immediately tells him, "You look exhausted." "Yeah, it's been a rough day," says the bartender, "What are you drinking?" "I'll have a glass of..." says the bear. He waits a painfully long moment before adding "... scotch." "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "Don't you mean "big pause"?" asks the bear. "Yeah, sorry." Sighs the Bartender. "Like I said, it's been a rough day."
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
Busy Cat

I'm 8 AM and time to nap
It's 10 AM and time to relax
It's 12 PM and time to doze off
It's 3 PM and time to zonk out
It's 6 PM and time to slumber
It's 9 PM and time to snooze
It's 12 AM and time to sleep
It's 4 AM and time to hang upside down
from your bedroom ceiling, screaming
Wolf Puns
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
Planet Puns
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
Meat Puns
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Garden Puns
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
Gnome Puns
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Troll Puns
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
Blond Jokes
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
Pick Up Lines
I know you're busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?
He Has a Chip On His Shoulder
Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to Jamaica because he felt he could be a Big Shot at home. He really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law office in New Kingston. The first day, he saw a man coming up the passageway. He decided to make a big impression on this potential client when he arrived. As the man came to the door Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking. "No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes, the Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay, tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details." The "conversation" went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled off instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man, "I'm sorry for the delay but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?" The man replied, "I'm from Cable & Wireless, the telephone company, I came to hook up your phone."
I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. The picked up the phone and said,
"Urology department, can you hold?"