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Birds Jokes

Crow Puns
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees, and he told me about the butcher and my wife.” – Rodney Dangerfield
Funny Work Quotes
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
Orange Puns
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
Garden Quotes
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
Yard Puns
I woke up this morning and saw two birds sitting in the sun in my backyard, eating ice cream.
They were Basking Robins.
Flamingo Puns
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What Do You Call a Bird...
What bird can do more that others? A Pelican. What two birds met in the insane asylum? A Cuckoo and a Loon. What bird lives in Hollywood? A Starling. What bird can give you splinters? A woodpecker. What bird works in construction? A Crane. What bird loves guacamole? A Dipper. What do you call a bird that picks its nose? A Flicker. What do you call a bird that works at a restaurant? A Wader. What bird just got arrested? A Robin. What bird goes to church? A Cardinal. What is a man's favorite bird? A Swallow. What bird does drugs? A Junco. What bird wears a toupee? A Heron. What bird is in a band? A Rock Dove. What bird can't walk straight? A warbler. What bird parties the most? A Raven!
Funny Health Quotes
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
Funny Birthday Poems
Birthdays are sometimes hard to observe
Many people think they are for the birds.
Well, when I look at your age
I can see why you are at that stage.

Where did the years go
Another birthday, oh no
It only seemed like yesterday
We celebrated your birthday.

Oh who cares about age
Don't let it discourage
Be happy and just say
It is just another day!

(Catherine Pulsifer)
Monster Puns
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.