Art Jokes

“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
What Nationality Were Adam and Eve?
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian are standing in a museum looking at a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden. The three stare at it intently. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the British man. "They must be British." The three of them ponder this possibility for a moment before the Frenchman and the Russian shake their heads in disagreement. "Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're naked and so beautiful, enjoying the best of life. Clearly they are French.". The Brit and Russian agree on this point, but after a moment the Russian shakes his head again. "No clothes, no shelter..." He muses. "Also, they have only an apple to eat but they're told this is Paradise. They are clearly Russian!"
After checking my poor results, the art teacher shouted, "Never in a vermilion years have I seen such poor grades"!
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
Though my brother won the art competition, he went up to his rival and gave him the credit where it was hue!
Excuse me, I think I'm lost. Is this the bar or the musem? You're just a piece of art.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
The Janitor and the Fairy
Three friends go on a hike in a forest. One is a professor, one a CEO, and one a janitor. Suddenly, they encounter a glowing ball of light that resolves itself into a beautiful fairy. The fairy says “I will give you humans what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day. You will be given all the resources you need.” The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?” so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids’ screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up. The CEO says “I’ll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze.” so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up. The janitor says “I’ll be an artist” so he is transported to an art facility. He uses the facility to create a huge art exhibit in which he glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, telling the story behind it, then sells it for a million dollars. After the day way done, the fairy congratulates the janitor. "But how come you could do all that?" She asks him curiously. The janitor shrugged. “I have a masters degree in art.”
I thought this was a bar, but I must be in a museum because you’re a piece of art.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."