The cost of the space program is astronomical.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Classical conditioning.
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!