I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in 'Battleship,' he said, "A2 Brute?"
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Classical conditioning.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"