Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
When the gladiators fought lions
it was always the mane event
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...
But graphing is where I draw the line!
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."