What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
When I was in school I got a B in biology, a C in chemistry.
And an F in Physics.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Physics is like incest.
It’s all relative.
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
