A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
In which battle did the soldiers form a queue outside a metal box?
The battle of Portaloo.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore, but he did have a hand in it.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
May the mass times acceleration be with you.
Why did Alexander not like eating chicken legs? Because he hated defeat.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Physics is like incest.
It’s all relative.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Air resistance is a real drag.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!