What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
What did the nerdy duckling say ?
Quark Quark.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?
He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.