What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"