Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck