Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
Ah! The element of surprise.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!