What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Air resistance is a real drag.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
I’m a hardcore believer in the “i before e except after c” rule
It’s science.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
My parents always brought me up to believe the sky's the limit.
Which was a shame because I wanted to be an astronaut.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Why did Alexander not like eating chicken legs? Because he hated defeat.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
That boy narrated his-story really well.