My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.